The Busy Girl's Guide to Meditation

Isn't it funny how the times when it's hardest to meditate are the times you probably need it the most?

I've worked in the startup/tech industry for the past 6+ years, and to say it's a little crazy would be an understatement. If I'm being honest with myself, a big part of me feeds off of the excitement: a burst of insanity, a ton of brainstorming, a crazy project with a nearly-impossible deadline...there's something about the energy rush that can become addictive.

But you know what also comes with that adrenaline rush? Stress, vritti energy, and in many cases...little to no time to focus in on yourself.

When your career and social life are swirling around you a la Pig-Pen's cloud of dirt, adding on a meditation practice can seem pretty damn daunting. But here's the thing: meditation doesn't have to take up a huge chunk of your day. Creating a daily ritual of setting aside a few quiet moments each night can actually enhance all of the other things you have going on: by dedicating a little time to slow down, collect yourself, and  b r e a t h e, you'll be in a better mental state to handle whatever life throws at you tomorrow.

I've created a super-simple, mantra-based meditation practice that I do for about 10 minutes every night when I come home from work. I'd invite you to try it out for yourself - you might like it, too!

Create your environment

• Shut off the lights.

• Light a few candles, and burn some sage or Palo Santo, both of which are meant to clear negative energy and re-set your space.

• Turn on meditative music. I have a dog and a roommate, so as much as I love music as a way to creatively guide my practice, it's also to drown out any external distractions. You can always steal some of my meditation music from Spotify.

• Set an alarm for 12 minutes.  I typically give myself a 2 minute buffer to get settled and comfortable before I drop all the way in to meditation.

Get Comfortable

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You don't need a huge space to meditate. I just throw my Gaiam cushion on the floor and sit right down in my bedroom.

• Set yourself up comfortably. I use the Gaiam Rectangle Meditation Bolster  and sit in either lotus or sukhasana with a long spine.
• Begin to breathe deeply and close your eyes. Forget about ujjayi breath. Forget about whatever you learned in that meditation class. Forget about what you think you should be doing, and just. breathe. In and out through the nose. Calmly begin to observe your breath: can you deepen your inhalations and exhalations? Can you smooth your breathing out at all? Relax the expectations around it, and just go with what you're feeling.

Mantra-based Breathing

• As your breath regulates (inhales and exhales equally long, about 5-6 seconds each), begin to pair the in- and out-breaths with the phrase, "So Hum". As you breathe in, repeat in your mind "So"...As you breathe out, repeat in your mind, "Hum". 

• Why "So Hum"?
  • So Hum is a verbal representation of the breath; it sort of sounds like your inhalations and exhalations. But more importantly, So Hum translates to "I am". 
• Use this as an opportunity to remind you of what you are. Here are a few examples that I use, from time to time:
  • Enough. As simple as that. You are enough, exactly as you are.
  • Calm. Even if "calm" is the last thing you feel, give yourself the opportunity to explore it: what does "I am calm" feel like. Can you train yourself to become calm, even in difficult moments?
  • Capable. Capable of dealing with the pressures of work, family, friendships, relationships.
    • Smart. You are mentally equipped with the skills to tackle what is in front of you.
• Repeat, repeat, repeat. Your mind will wander, and that's OKAY! You're human, and this is only 10 minutes of your day. Do your best to draw your consciousness back to just the breath, and just your mantra.

When your alarm goes off, gently blink your eyes, wiggle your fingers and toes, and slowly pick yourself back up.

I'll be honest: some days, I'd rather flop on my bed and stare blankly at the ceiling for two hours...but there hasn't been one time yet where I've regretted my meditation session once I get down to it. Especially during busy or difficult weeks, it's such an awesome opportunity to practice some self-care and re-set mentally.

Ten minutes a day is all you need, my loves. You can do it - I know it!

PS - If you want to purchase the bolster I mentioned above, use AMANDA20 at checkout for 20% off your purchases of $50 or more. xo

microfears.

I’m ON one lately about microfears.

Is “microfear[s]” — or as i lovingly call them,“MF-ers” — a real word? definitely not. but is it a real thing? definitely yes.⠀These little MFers aren’t the big, huge fears that we love to glorify. Nothing like “I’m afraid of death. I’m afraid of bankruptcy. What if I’m not worthy of love? What if i don’t become successful?”

MFers are those tiny, naggy thoughts that pop up in your head at least a hundred steps BEFORE that big “Oh shit, this is something I need to address” realization happens.

They’re the dull, repetitive thoughts that quietly thump in the back of your mind while you’re off doing other things on autopilot. And it’s easy to keep those thoughts waaaay back there — they’re probably rooted in avoidance, or guilt, or shame, or confusion…and dealing with that definitely doesn’t sound like fun.

“I keep avoiding finishing my reports for work,”

says the marketing assistant who’d rather be outdoors, making art. but her job’s not *that* bad.

“I‘m just not good with, like, feelings,”

says the one who actually has a LOT of feelings. but whatever, they’ll deal with them. later.

“I can’t talk to her after our last fight,”

says the girl who proooobably shouldn’t have gone off at her friend the other night, 3 bottles of wine deep. but whatever, it’s fine.

In the scheme of things, none of these are big problems, right? They’re just little annoyances, and we’ve gotten really good at creating excuses disguised as answers in an effort to make ourselves feel better for a little while. But what about long-term?

“Well, at least I have a job! Could be worse.”

until, 10 years later, you’ve reached peak “success” as CMO and have never been more miserable.

“It’s for the best — I’m too fucked up, I’d probably just disappoint someone anyway. ”

congrats! you actually *have* made a commitment. to deprive yourself of the main thing were created for: human connection.

“She probably doesn’t want to talk to me either. I was such a bitch to her. It’s for the best.”

until 3 months later, you just really miss your friend…and 3 months of #girlsilence seems really, really hard to come back from.

⠀

Listen. Paying attention to these little MFers is actually a good thing.

Once you become more aware of those seemingly innocuous, repetitive, only-slightly-annoying thoughts…you open yourself up to the ability to self-police. You can begin to pay more attention to how often you think something, how actively you’re avoiding something…and if you sit with it for long enough (uncomfortable as it’s gonna be), you can start to work through any of that negative — or hell, even crazy — self talk in super-small doses.

Change at a micro level like that is WAY easier than avoiding something for weeks, months, years.

Nobody wants to wake up 5 years from now, only just realizing the need to unpack a LOT of emotional shit…or worse, wishing they did something differently.

TLDR: those little, annoying thoughts you keep having, and keep ignoring? they’re not little, and they’re not going to go away in 5 years. raise ya damn vibration and deal with it. 

Too scared to go to a public yoga class? Read this.

I’m the first to admit that public yoga classes can be crazy-intimidating. Walking into a new space, probably alone, surrounded by people you can only assume have been practicing for years longer than you have…it’s scary. As a new student, it’s easy to assume everyone around you is more strong, more flexible, a better meditator (..or whatever it is).

And I totally get it. Just like any new, intimidating situation, it’s easy to think yourself down the “i’m not good enough” rabbit hole and psych yourself out of ever going to class in the first place.
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I’ll let you in on a little secret: a few of the students seated around you are probably just as intimidated as you. And if they’re not…I guarantee they were, at one point.

I certainly was. My first few months practicing, I would walk into the studio almost shaking because I was so nervous. But eventually, something clicked. I realized most of my fears were self-imposed, and I started learning how to drop my ego at the door and just let the practice start to happen naturally.

Take my friend Molly, for example. Last week, she left this on my Facebook wall…

But up until 2 or 3 months ago, I couldn’t get her to a public class if I was on my deathbead. She had the same anxieties that I had when I first started out, and I knew if I could get her comfortable with the fundamentals — but more importantly, comfortable with her beginner’s practice — I could get her in the door at one of my studios.

I worked with her during private lessons for a few weeks, and slowly began to introduce the concept that we’re ALL just practicing — nobody is perfect, and if you’re in the right kind of yoga space, nobody is going to judge you for giving it a try.

Once I finally got her into class, she was hooked! The pieces are slowly beginning to fall into place. Once you start getting in the groove with yoga, it all becomes a little less scary.
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Just keep showing up, yeah? 
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